With the transfer window's closure coming up fast, I thought I would have a look at moving clubs, something I did a few times in my career. It is always difficult when you come from one club to another as players have never met before, there is a different style of play and it takes time to bed in.
When I was on loan at Oxford from Portsmouth for a few games, my first training session was at Oxford University. So 100 yards away from where we were training there was a drunk asleep on the bench. Every now and again he’d swig from a bottle of wine and shout something out.
A ball went near him and when he went to kick it back he fell over. He started wandering over to us and one of the lads decided it would be funny to actually aim for him with the ball and try and he hit him!
He then started giving us a tirade of abuse, shouting and swearing, but we all just thought little of it... but then he got 20 yards from us and pulled a gun out!
That was it, everyone made a break for and I turned and scarpered; I’d never run so quick in my life. I got halfway down the pitch waiting to be overtaken because, as discussed in previous editions, I’m not the quickest, but no one did. I turned round to see what was going on and everyone was on the floor laughing!
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It was all a big set-up. The bloke wasn't a homeless drunk at all, it was some guy is disguise - he even had a stick-on beard. Apparently this fan did it every time there was a new signing at the club and he was so convincing!
When I signed Brighton it took a while to settle. I came from Gillingham, was not fit, and went into a very strong group, and there were a lot of characters in that dressing room. Wherever you sign you get to know within two days who has the banter and who are the quieter ones.
I joined in a carpool with Robbie Pethick and Shaun Wilkinson and there was some good banter in that car shouting nonsense out at people to pass the time on a long drive in from Hampshire.
Nobody was spared, and our favourite was people putting their dustbins away, we would ask, "Oi mate, where you been? No, where you wheelie bin?" Another was at the roadworks we'd slow down and give the workers grief, "One digging, four watching! That'll be right!"
So apologies to anyone who might have been abused by us down the years!
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